True Blood season 4 review - I'm Alive and On Fire

Monday, Monday, so good to me.  It gives me Leverage, True Blood and Linkara, but today we're just here to see what happens as a Southern Vampire Mysteries fanatic watches the latest episode of True Blood.

Warning, spoilers for both the episode and entire book series where appropriate

Come on True Blood, we're a third of the way through now, let's stop pissing about and just get down to what everyone is waiting for.  Though I think the thing everyone is waiting for may not come for another episode yet.  (I'm calling shower scene in episode 5 or 6.)

• True Blood!
• Previously on True Blood, a bunch of stuff happened, most of it wasn't interesting, some of it was.
• On no!  Why is Eric passing out?  Fairy Blood shouldn't do that...  saying that she was a Goblin.
• Oh my, he's drunk.  lol.
• Go to your room, Eric!  
• Oh bless him.  He needs Sookie tuck him in.
• Too much funny stuff happening.
• Must rewind and see Eric pinch Sookie's bum again.
• lol, Eric is hilarious when he's drunk.
• It's like Sookie's got a small child to deal with.
• Oh thank god, the titles, I was laughing too hard at Eric.
• Ugh, Crap-King Bill.  Tell him where to go Pam.
• Oh god, poor Jason being raped.  Am I the only one who thinks this is terribly disturbing and if it was a female character there would be an outcry?  
• Brother-husband...  oh god, what did they do to hotshot?
• Oh no, not the little girl.  Not the little girl.  
• This is terribly disturbing.
• Poor Jason, this is some very good acting on the part of Ryan Kwanten.  
• Tell Crap-King Bill, Nan Flanegan, he's a stupid king.
• So Aunt Petunia is being possessed by some 400 year old necromancer?  This is quite interesting actually.  
• Though it begs the question, how?  Why?  And of course, how?
• Alcide, stripping off, oh I'm going to get phone calls about this.
• Maxine, fussing over Tommy, that's so cute.
• Ew....  Uncle Daddy Felton...  creepy.
• LaFayette, again, talking sense and again, everyone ignoring him.
• Aunt Petunia better explain what is possessing her.
• Oh my good god....  Eric in the daylight...  
• In the water.
• "Sookie, come play with me!"  *dies*
• I'm also going to get phone calls about Askars in the buff.
• "There's big gators in there, you crazy viking"
• OMG, *dies again*  Eric is hilarious.
• LMAO, jealous Eric is more hilarious.
• Aw....  "I don't wanna go back to the dark" Aw bless his heart
• Run, Jason, Run!  You don't want to get raped anymore, run!
• Tommy going to visit his mother, bless him.
• I have the feeling that 'leaving' Joe-Lee, means she probably killed Joe-Lee or came back to him.
• Sam is about to discover his girlfriend is high maintenance...  and also has kids or kid.
• Just kid.  Aw bless him, he's going to play Barbies.
• lol, Eric doesn't want to go to sleep.  He's spectacularly good in this episode.
• Aw he looks so hurt, bless his little heart.
• It's nice that Alcide and Sookie are getting along, I wonder if he'll turn into an arse like in the books.
• Jason, where the hell have you gone, Hot Shot isn't meant to be that far from Bon Tempes.
• Oh god, crazy Crystal.
• Crap-King Bill and poorly cast Portia, oh my, it's the Bellefluer, grandmother, Caroline.  I wonder how long it will be before Bill finds out he's been stupping his Granddaughter. 
• Poor Andy, getting chastised.
• Sam and Girlfriend, she's a shifter, her ex was a werewolf, shouldn't that make the kid a non-supe?  Different rules for the show, probably.  
• Aunt Petunia is bloody brilliant.  
• I like this stuff with her much more than the crazy were witch Hallow.
• Debbie, she better stay not crazy, cos otherwise it's just a waste having her be not crazy in the first place.
• LOL - Crap-King Bill finding out he's Portia's Grandfather.  Very amusing.
• Wow it's interesting how early Portia finds this out, I was sure it was later.
• Yay, Terry and Arlene and Baby serial killer.  Terry is quite adorable.
• Oh my that weird magic doll thing.
• I bet it was the weird doll which wrote that, not the baby.
• Aw bless Eric, lamenting that he'll never swim in the sun or see the daylight in Sookie's hair, that's cute.  
• GODDAMMMIT!  The almost kiss, infuriating.
• Go on Sookie, fool thet Crap-King Bill.
• Do not let Crap-King Bill search your house, Sookie.  Get him told. 
• Get the hell out of her house Crap-King Bill you cheeky bastard, this is why Sookie belongs to Eric not you!
• Ah, I notice that I seem to turned into a girl again, goddamn I wish I wasn't sure a shipper.
• Oh noes, poor Jason in the road.
• Please let it be someone good getting him.  YAY!  Jessica and Hoyt!
• Bless Tommy, he's so proud he can read.
• Oh dear, Joe-Lee is trying to kill Tommy, no doubt he's going to use him to fight dog fights.
• Bloody hell he's going to kill him.
• Oh my...  Pam, if you weren't a lesbian and also fictional...   O.O
• Godammit, Pam, please rip Tara's throat out.
• Please die, Tara.
• PAM!  Do not fucking hurt Pam!  Oh my god....   Stop hurting PAM!
• Aunt Petunia's fucking crazy.
• End of episode

 Summary:

 Phew!  Well that was a good episode!  At fricking last.  From the next episode preview, it looks to be a good one next week, but I'm not counting my vamps before they've risen from the grave.  We're a third of the way in now and there's a long way to go and a lot of stuff for them to completely fuck up yet.  I wouldn't have to be so sceptical if they haven't fucked up with all the fairy land stuff in the first episode.

Ok, let's do Good stuff, Bad stuff.

Good stuff:

• Eric.  Good God, Eric.  About as close to perfection as you could get.  He's maybe a little too funny and not vulnerable enough this week, but the stuff with Sookie was super sweet and it was nice to see Eric having regrets.
• Aunt Petunia.  OK, I do not want Pam fucked with again and I want her back to Pam again, but dramatically speaking, that was awesome.
• Jason escaping from Hot Shot and killing Felton.
• Andy and Caroline at the Bellefluer mansion.  Pretty good stuff.
• Debbie being not crazy.  I actually like this, please don't fuck this up.
• The weird magic voodoo doll thing, which I so think messed with the baby.
• Nan Flanegan.
• Tommy and his weird parents.  Bad for Tommy, good for drama.

Bad stuff:

• I didn't mention this above, but Sookie's hair seems to have magically grown about a foot since the previous episode.
• Tara still being alive.
• Not enough Arlene and Terry.
• Barely any Jessica and Hoyt.
• Tara still being in the show.
• Crap-King Bill still being around and still being a king.
• Jason being raped.  Disturbing and shouldn't really be played for laughs.
• Tara still being a character.
• In general, the weirdness of Hot Shot and crazy Crystal, she's like a different character from last season.  
• Sam and his girlfriend problems, boring, dull and uninteresting.  The show isn't about Sam and he got an arc last season, I know being the nice guy who runs the bar can't be that exciting for the actor, but it's a paycheck, stop trying to give him things to do, we don't care.
• Tara.  Who needs to die.  Painfully.