Monday, 18 July 2011

True Blood season 4 review - I'm Alive and On Fire

Monday, Monday, so good to me.  It gives me Leverage, True Blood and Linkara, but today we're just here to see what happens as a Southern Vampire Mysteries fanatic watches the latest episode of True Blood.

Warning, spoilers for both the episode and entire book series where appropriate

Come on True Blood, we're a third of the way through now, let's stop pissing about and just get down to what everyone is waiting for.  Though I think the thing everyone is waiting for may not come for another episode yet.  (I'm calling shower scene in episode 5 or 6.)

  • True Blood!
  • Previously on True Blood, a bunch of stuff happened, most of it wasn't interesting, some of it was.
  • On no!  Why is Eric passing out?  Fairy Blood shouldn't do that...  saying that she was a Goblin.
  • Oh my, he's drunk.  lol.
  • Go to your room, Eric!  
  • Oh bless him.  He needs Sookie tuck him in.
  • Too much funny stuff happening.
  • Must rewind and see Eric pinch Sookie's bum again.
  • lol, Eric is hilarious when he's drunk.
  • It's like Sookie's got a small child to deal with.
  • Oh thank god, the titles, I was laughing too hard at Eric.
  • Ugh, Crap-King Bill.  Tell him where to go Pam.
  • Oh god, poor Jason being raped.  Am I the only one who thinks this is terribly disturbing and if it was a female character there would be an outcry?  
  • Brother-husband...  oh god, what did they do to hotshot?
  • Oh no, not the little girl.  Not the little girl.  
  • This is terribly disturbing.
  • Poor Jason, this is some very good acting on the part of Ryan Kwanten.  
  • Tell Crap-King Bill, Nan Flanegan, he's a stupid king.
  • So Aunt Petunia is being possessed by some 400 year old necromancer?  This is quite interesting actually.  
  • Though it begs the question, how?  Why?  And of course, how?
  • Alcide, stripping off, oh I'm going to get phone calls about this.
  • Maxine, fussing over Tommy, that's so cute.
  • Ew....  Uncle Daddy Felton...  creepy.
  • LaFayette, again, talking sense and again, everyone ignoring him.
  • Aunt Petunia better explain what is possessing her.
  • Oh my good god....  Eric in the daylight...  
  • In the water.
  • "Sookie, come play with me!"  *dies*
  • I'm also going to get phone calls about Askars in the buff.
  • "There's big gators in there, you crazy viking"
  • OMG, *dies again*  Eric is hilarious.
  • LMAO, jealous Eric is more hilarious.
  • Aw....  "I don't wanna go back to the dark" Aw bless his heart
  • Run, Jason, Run!  You don't want to get raped anymore, run!
  • Tommy going to visit his mother, bless him.
  • I have the feeling that 'leaving' Joe-Lee, means she probably killed Joe-Lee or came back to him.
  • Sam is about to discover his girlfriend is high maintenance...  and also has kids or kid.
  • Just kid.  Aw bless him, he's going to play Barbies.
  • lol, Eric doesn't want to go to sleep.  He's spectacularly good in this episode.
  • Aw he looks so hurt, bless his little heart.
  • It's nice that Alcide and Sookie are getting along, I wonder if he'll turn into an arse like in the books.
  • Jason, where the hell have you gone, Hot Shot isn't meant to be that far from Bon Tempes.
  • Oh god, crazy Crystal.
  • Crap-King Bill and poorly cast Portia, oh my, it's the Bellefluer, grandmother, Caroline.  I wonder how long it will be before Bill finds out he's been stupping his Granddaughter. 
  • Poor Andy, getting chastised.
  • Sam and Girlfriend, she's a shifter, her ex was a werewolf, shouldn't that make the kid a non-supe?  Different rules for the show, probably.  
  • Aunt Petunia is bloody brilliant.  
  • I like this stuff with her much more than the crazy were witch Hallow.
  • Debbie, she better stay not crazy, cos otherwise it's just a waste having her be not crazy in the first place.
  • LOL - Crap-King Bill finding out he's Portia's Grandfather.  Very amusing.
  • Wow it's interesting how early Portia finds this out, I was sure it was later.
  • Yay, Terry and Arlene and Baby serial killer.  Terry is quite adorable.
  • Oh my that weird magic doll thing.
  • I bet it was the weird doll which wrote that, not the baby.
  • Aw bless Eric, lamenting that he'll never swim in the sun or see the daylight in Sookie's hair, that's cute.  
  • GODDAMMMIT!  The almost kiss, infuriating.
  • Go on Sookie, fool thet Crap-King Bill.
  • Do not let Crap-King Bill search your house, Sookie.  Get him told. 
  • Get the hell out of her house Crap-King Bill you cheeky bastard, this is why Sookie belongs to Eric not you!
  • Ah, I notice that I seem to turned into a girl again, goddamn I wish I wasn't sure a shipper.
  • Oh noes, poor Jason in the road.
  • Please let it be someone good getting him.  YAY!  Jessica and Hoyt!
  • Bless Tommy, he's so proud he can read.
  • Oh dear, Joe-Lee is trying to kill Tommy, no doubt he's going to use him to fight dog fights.
  • Bloody hell he's going to kill him.
  • Oh my...  Pam, if you weren't a lesbian and also fictional...   O.O
  • Godammit, Pam, please rip Tara's throat out.
  • Please die, Tara.
  • PAM!  Do not fucking hurt Pam!  Oh my god....   Stop hurting PAM!
  • Aunt Petunia's fucking crazy.
  • End of episode

 Phew!  Well that was a good episode!  At fricking last.  From the next episode preview, it looks to be a good one next week, but I'm not counting my vamps before they've risen from the grave.  We're a third of the way in now and there's a long way to go and a lot of stuff for them to completely fuck up yet.  I wouldn't have to be so sceptical if they haven't fucked up with all the fairy land stuff in the first episode.

Ok, let's do Good stuff, Bad stuff.

Good stuff:
  • Eric.  Good God, Eric.  About as close to perfection as you could get.  He's maybe a little too funny and not vulnerable enough this week, but the stuff with Sookie was super sweet and it was nice to see Eric having regrets.
  • Aunt Petunia.  OK, I do not want Pam fucked with again and I want her back to Pam again, but dramatically speaking, that was awesome.
  • Jason escaping from Hot Shot and killing Felton.
  • Andy and Caroline at the Bellefluer mansion.  Pretty good stuff.
  • Debbie being not crazy.  I actually like this, please don't fuck this up.
  • The weird magic voodoo doll thing, which I so think messed with the baby.
  • Nan Flanegan.
  • Tommy and his weird parents.  Bad for Tommy, good for drama.
Bad stuff:
  • I didn't mention this above, but Sookie's hair seems to have magically grown about a foot since the previous episode.
  • Tara still being alive.
  • Not enough Arlene and Terry.
  • Barely any Jessica and Hoyt.
  • Tara still being in the show.
  • Crap-King Bill still being around and still being a king.
  • Jason being raped.  Disturbing and shouldn't really be played for laughs.
  • Tara still being a character.
  • In general, the weirdness of Hot Shot and crazy Crystal, she's like a different character from last season.  
  • Sam and his girlfriend problems, boring, dull and uninteresting.  The show isn't about Sam and he got an arc last season, I know being the nice guy who runs the bar can't be that exciting for the actor, but it's a paycheck, stop trying to give him things to do, we don't care.
  • Tara.  Who needs to die.  Painfully.


  1. I have just downloaded iStripper, so I can watch the hottest virtual strippers get naked on my desktop.

  2. If you need your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend to come crawling back to you on their knees (no matter why you broke up) you need to watch this video
    right away...

    (VIDEO) Have your ex CRAWLING back to you...?