Thursday, 22 December 2011

My Top Ten Worst Christmas Presents

(Brief apology for a few months of absence, I've started a new job and had net issues, so I won't be able to post as much as I was previously, but I'm going to try and stick to a once a week/fortnight schedule.)

Sometimes you open a Christmas present and you are just blown away by how spectacularly bad the present is.  Maybe it's because the person who bought it put no thought into the present, maybe they did put thought into it and just happened to miss the mark for some reason.  Then there's the presents on this list, which in themselves aren't necessarily bad items, they just happen to be the most bizarre things I've ever received. 

I have genuinely received all of these items, but I've used stock photos as I don't actually have pictures of them, though I wish I had taken some photos at the time.

10. Facial Hair Removal Kit

Christmas:  1999
Gift Giver:  My Nanna
Why it was bad:  My Nanna, bless her soul, was not a full shilling.  She managed to get me the most bizarre Christmas presents because she wasn't all there, bless her, but she got me a ladies facial hair removal kit this one year, not the one pictured, but similar.  I'm not sure what happened to it, I think it sat in a cupboard for ages and then my Mum gave it to a charity shop. 

9. Large Bar of Galaxy Chocolate

Christmas:  several Christmases
Gift Giver:  several people
Why it was bad:  This is one which isn't necessarily a bad present for most people.  It's the kind of thing I get from people who either don't know me or they do, they just happen to have forgot.  I can't eat Galaxy chocolate.  I have no idea why.  When I was a kid it was fine, in fact it used to be my favourite, but when I was 11 or 12 I started getting really bad headaches from it and eventually I had to stop eating it.  Now even if I have just a minstrel I get a terrible migraine, I'm completely fine with any other chocolate, thought generally I prefer Cadbury's because sometimes cheap chocolate or nestle or mars can give me headache twinges.

8. A Battery Operated Disco Ball

Christmas:  2002
Gift Giver:  My Cousin
Why it was bad: The disco ball was something my cousin had asked for in 2001 along side some flashing lights and some disco cds so she could have dance parties in her room.  I got her all these bits and pieces and was very surprised to get the disco ball back for Christmas the next year, though probably not as surprised as my Grandad was to get half a tube of used glow sticks.

7. A Tarantino Boxset

Christmas:  2007
Gift Giver:  My Dad
Why it was bad:  This is one which just makes me feel awful.  My Dad tries to get me one present every year instead of just leaving it to my Mum to get everything.  This year he thought he'd done really well, because I love Tarantino movies.  The problem was that I already had all of them on dvd so I had to spend the day pretending I didn't already have them and assuring my Dad he'd done really well and I just felt awful for lying to him.

6. A Michael Jackson Calender

Christmas:  2009
Gift Giver:  My Best Friend, My Mum, My Cousin, My Close Friend, My Aunt and My Nanna
Why it was bad:  I'm a huge Michael Jackson fan and was literally devastated when he died.  For some reason everyone thought that I would really love this calender when he died so I now have a stack of unopened ones underneath my bed.

5. Care Bears Video

Christmas:  2011
Gift Giver:  My Friend Matt
Why it was bad:  Matt deserves naming and shaming for this one.  He's well known to be the worst present giver of everyone we know.  His policy is that he puts no thought into what he buys people and doesn't care if people don't like what he buys them so when we all sat down to swap presents last night we weren't expecting great things from him.  I think I came out worst with this one, though one of my friends got a 3/4 full bottle of bath foam and the other one got a slightly burnt tea towel.

4. Pound Shop Perfume

Christmas:  2006
Gift Giver:  My Friend Matt
Why it was bad:  Matt got everyone stuff from the pound shop on this year, I can't remember what it was everyone else got, but mine was a bottle of ladies perfume....  yeah...

3. Cork Coaster

Christmas:  2005
Gift Giver:  My Friend Matt
Why it was bad:  Matt  again, he's probably given me worse stuff, but I think I've blocked it out.  2005 I got a single cork coaster, slightly tea stained with a bit broken off the side.

2. Self Laminating Luggage Labels

Christmas:  2003
Gift Giver:  My Nanna
Why it was bad:  I'm not sure I should have to explain this one, it was the result of my Nanna being left alone with a Butterwick catalogue and an order form.  The same year my Mum got a pen with the name "Adam" embossed on the side, which needless to say, is not my Mum's name.

1. Ceramic Hair Straighteners

Christmas:  2004
Gift Giver:  My Nanna
Why it was bad:  Aside from the fact that I'm not a lady, I've never had long enough hair to bother to straighten it.  Again the result of my Nanna ordering from a catalogue, that year my Dad received a fibre-optic, silk flower lamp and my Mum got a jar of nutella.


  1. Number One has had me in fits.
    I think Matt just tries too hard...

    1. lol, Matt just needs his a good kicking sometimes, it's our friends birthday next week so I gave him a list of things to pick from that he could order cheaply from Amazon for a few quid. Because she got him a really nice Doctor Who boxset that he'd been hinting about for Christmas and he got her a half eaten box of chocolates, so I felt that he needed to make it up to her. Sadly I have not been able to get through to him and when we're sitting in the nice Italian place next week she'll be opening a parcel containing his old watering can and resisting the urge to throw it at his head.

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