Monday, 4 July 2011

True Blood season 4 review - She's not there

Since I'm a huge True Blood/Southern Vampire Mysteries fan, I decided to do a blow by blow review of my reactions to the new series as I watch the episodes.  This is for two reasons, one to spare my twitter followers a million and one tweets, two because I've read all the books and so I have certain expectations.

Warning this review will contain spoilers from the show and spoilers from anything relevant that pops up in any of the 11 books or the short story compilations.

Ok, I'm sitting comfortably so I'll begin.

  • OK Sookie's arriving in Fairy land, this is exciting, we've never been there in the books it's only been described so having Fairy Land in with the show is going to be a very interesting experience.
  • Ok...  Barry's there....  how strange.  It was never established that Barry was actually part Fairy in the books and the latest one revealed that Sookie's telepathy came from Mr Cathstisis...  Mr Catetlies...  Mr Cat....  Sophie Anne's Demon lawyer.  
  • GARY MOTHERFUCKING COLE!  SHERIFF BUCK!  What's he doing in my True Blood?!  Awesome!
  • Gary Cole is Sookie's Grandfather....   NERDGASAM!
  • Ok deep breaths, deep breaths...  So are they going to introduce him into the main cast?  If so I might just die from happiness, Gary Cole is the MAN. 
  • Ok so I forgot about this, but they have changed it from Adele (Sookie's Gram) having an affair with a half fairy to the Grandfather having some fairy connection.  This might play out interestingly.  Also apparently he's only been there a few hours from his perspective but in fact he's been there 20 years so Sookie might want to grab Barry, drop the lightbulb fruit and get the hell of out Fairy land.
  • Goblins?
  • Mab.  Motherfucking Mab?!  WTF is she doing in True Blood.
  • OK...  fairies have turned evil...  that was completely unexpected.  And for some reason they are goblins...  I am very confused.
  • Er we lost Barry.....  somewhere...  it was really unclear...  and Claude is a Goblin for some reason...  and I am very very confused and Gary Cole is jumping in a big hole and he's not supposed to.
  • I am very very confused.
  • Gary Cole is now dying and it's actually emotional even though we don't know the character, because it's Gary MOTHERFUCKING COLE!
  • So Barry ate the light fruit too...  does that mean he is gone forever now?
  • So Sookie's house has been totally changed and Jason is now a full cop and Sookie has been gone a year.
  • So Sookie's house has been sold, where the hell is she going to live?
  • Actually fuck that, Sookie's house is just a big a part of the books as Sookie herself, it's part of her.  I'm pretty pissed if they get rid of the house.
  • I love Eric, I wish I was Eric or at least had half his cool...  he was the only one not to give up on Sookie.
  • Oh God...  get rid of Bill...  for fuck's sake get rid of Bill...  Hang on when last we saw him, he was fighting Queen Sophie Anne....  what happened there?
  • In season 3 they made a lot of book to show changes, stuff that would affect future book plot points.  The stuff they changed though was all pretty good and season 3 was an excellent season, one I enjoyed a lot.  So far the stuff they've changed is just pissing me off.
  • OK Aunt Petunia is here!  Or Irma Prunesqualler if you prefer.  LOVE her.
  • She looks utterly crackers, awesome!  Oh yay and they is mentioning Eddie!  
  • Hehehe, Arlene is freaking out over the Rene baby pulling the heads off dolls.
  • OMFG are we actually going to see New Orlens?  JOY!
  • Oh...  fucking Tara....  why can't we be rid of her.
  • Jessica and Hoyt...  I love them, don't fuck them up Alan Ball.
  • Pam at the 32 minute mark, about fucking time.
  • Oooh they are introducing Portia...  ugh it's that annoying bitch from Dexter.  Am annoyed.
  • Tara's a lesbian, we all saw this coming.
  • Aw, Terry and Arlene are married.  I love them.
  • Sam.  They turned Sam into an arse last season and that doesn't look to be changing.  So did he shoot his brother or what?  FFS, it's called RESOLUTION, DO SOME.
  • So Andy is hooked on Vampire Blood...  Why?
  • Jason knows his stuff, that's weird.... 
  • So Tommy's alive, Hoyt's mothers adopted him, but he appears to have a bum leg.  On the one hand it looks like he's totally scamming Hoyt's mother, on the other Sam's an arse for shooting his own brother.
  • LMAO, best line so far.  Sam:  How's that physical therapy going that I'm paying for?  Tommy:  Could use a few more months, how's the anger managment class?  Sam:  I could go more often.
  • Aw, they've written out Sidd Matt for some reason.  That kinda sucks.
  • Is it weird that we're now in season 4 and getting out first real look at Fangtasia with people in it.
  • So Sam's anger management class appears to be with a bunch of other shifters...  unusual in that true shifters like Sam are supposed to be rare.
  • Also they need to stop fucking with Jessica and Hoyt, we did this last season.
  • Holy fuck, Hotshot is looking bad.  Is no one helping hi, at all?  Why does no one else work?
  • Now they've locked Jason in the freezer, what a bunch of arseholes, if Jason was the only person bringing them food, Jesus Christ.
  • So Jason is due to become a werepanther this season.  With them changing Hotshot into bizzaro world for the show, I wonder how that's going to go.
  • They're doing a good job of showing Aunt Petunia to be crazy, so I guess 'Marni' is going to be Hallow.
  • Random glasses witch appears to be someone of significance.  
  • What.....   hang on....  what....  wait....   what....  BILL IS THE KING.  MOTHERFUCKING BILL?  WHY?  WHY? WHY?
  • Eric bought Sookie's house, I kinda saw it coming, but LMAO!  Also hot.  Super hot.
  • Wait...  what?  
  • WHY?  


So they've changed a fuck load of stuff, not sure how much of it is for the good, at the moment, none of it, none of it looks to be for the good.  I know they want to keep Stephen Moyer around, but Bill is the dullest fucking character in all the books.  Why make him the King?  Why?  It serves no purpose.

I want Eric an amnesiac already.  The whole story line is so good, I don't know why they had to spin a load of extra stuff into it.  The show needs to cut some of the fat, start with Tara then move on to Bill, Tara is a terrible character.  In the books she's barely significant so it's not a book driven thing, she's just a terrible character in the show.

Good stuff:
Pam, Pam, Pam and Pam.
Arlene and Terry and baby serial killer.
Sam and Tommy's banter.
Eric.  Always Eric.
Nan Flanegan.  (So good to have a Babylon 5 alum on the show)
Aunt Petunia.  Hallow was annoying and crazy, let's see if they can have Aunt Petunia be awesome and crazy.
Jason learning what it actually is to be a cop and seemingly stepping up and being a man and taking care of Hotshot.
Eric buying Sookie's house.  (He bought it to make it all nice for her because he knew she would come back, aw.)
Eddie flashback, aw.

Bad Stuff:
The fairy goblins.  See no reason for it.  Why ruin Claudine and Claude?  Why?  They were such good characters.  Claude being the most drool worthy man on the planet was something all my female friends were looking forward to and now they are disappoint.
Jason selling Sookie's house.
Eric buying Sookie's house.  (Now any vampire can come in at any time, including Bill.)
The Hotshot citizens in general.  Why would they hurt Jason, the guy who has stuck by them even though he has no reason and looked after them and bought them food, over the guy that hurt them and only brought them misery?  Bad storytelling, that's why.  If they were more independent *books cough books* it would work.
Jessica and Hoyt arguing, I would say no more please, but it seems Alan Ball just wants to have them argue forever.  Dull, dull, dull.
Tara still being in the show.
Bill being the king.  UGH.
Getting rid of Gary motherfucking Cole.
Dumping Barry for no reason in goblin land.  So he won't be there for the vampire conference?  THERE BETTER BE THE FUCKING VAMPIRE CONFERENCE!  That book was by far the best in terms of tight plot, character and conflict.
Sam's new shifter friends.  Do we have to?  Really?


  1. You are absolutely amazing! I love all your True Blood reviews, hoping to read the latest ones soon xxxx